my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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