Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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