No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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