I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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