A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think I am morally bankrupt
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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