I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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