Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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