my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
