i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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