you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
