I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You made out with two different species that night
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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