I heard we made out
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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