these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
