i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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