Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
