just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize