Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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