Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
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