hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
did i walk over a car last night?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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