I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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