let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize