I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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