At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
