I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
