Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I love having hate sex.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
