I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
