Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
