I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
