If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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