you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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