just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
