We should be called the Road Head Warriors
this beer tastes like vomit already
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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