Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize