Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
