I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
