Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
