Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
