he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
