sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
