You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
