Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
