shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
