Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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