I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
