You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize