I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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