Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
