i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
sex in a hospital.. check
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
