I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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