But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
