Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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