I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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