OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
