Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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