I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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