I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
