Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
