Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize