To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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