So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
