oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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