ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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