How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
