after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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