She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
