I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
