Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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