i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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