I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize