I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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