i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
