I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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