God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
