Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
