Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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