ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
